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Navigating Marriage Collisions

June 11, 2017 Speaker: Dan Davis Series: Collision Course

Topic: Sunday Message Verse: James 4:1–4:2, James 1:19, Matthew 7:12, Genesis 2:1–2:4

Navigating Marriage Collisions

The sixth of eight messages in a series about how we can navigate the relational conflicts we face in life.

Navigating Marriage Conflict

Marriage conflicts come in all shapes and sizes. The question isn’t “Will there ever be any conflict in marriage?” But rather, “How will we handle it when there is conflict in marriage?” Conflict doesn't mean that your marriage is doomed or that you “married the wrong person”; no, conflict is simply a sign that you’re both human.

WHAT provokes conflict in marriage

Money
Sex
Parenting
Other people (friends, in-laws, etc.)

Roles & responsibilities

Recognize these potential conflict landmines can blow up in every marriage; you’re not the only one. Realize these are triggers, not causes. There are deeper reasons why married couples can't always get along.

WHY conflict happens in marriage

Self-Centeredness (James 4:1-2)
Differences (personality, gender, love lang.)
Poor Communication

James 4:1-2 NIV

1 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.

Resolving Conflict: Is it worth it?

A closer connection is the reward for taking the risk to resolve conflict. As hard as it is to address your problems and work them out, there is relational gold on the other side.

HOW to work through marriage conflict

Quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger (James 1:19)
Put yourself in their shoes (golden rule - Matthew 7:12)
Tone & Timing (how & when you talk are both important)
Fight fair (no abuse, no threats, no drudging up the past)

James 1:19 NIV

19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

Matthew 7:12 NIV

12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

Pursuing Peace in a Christian Marriage

Seek the Lord personally (it starts with your own walk with God)
Seek the Lord together (pursue a same-minded, like-hearted love for the Lord)
Seek the Lord with others (live out your faith in Jesus in community)

Philippians 2:1-4 NIV

1 Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Three Words for your marriage this week... and beyond

WORK on your marriage
HOPE for your marriage
BELIEVE that Jesus can transform your marriage

Connections update

Our weekly sermon-based discussion guide, Connections, is taking a break for the summer. We'll resume in September.

 

More in Collision Course

June 25, 2017

Navigating Culture Collisions

June 18, 2017

Navigating Family Collisions

June 4, 2017

Navigating Church Collisions